‘And me?’
For that solitary instant, I was glad my Skill was gone. I never wanted the Prince to know the role I had played in his conception. Verity might have used my body to get him, but he was still my king’s son. Not mine. Not mine in any way, save the way his mind had called to mine. Aloud, I said, ‘You were Verity’s son. I did not consciously seek you out, and I was not aware of your sharing my dreams. Not until much later.’
I glanced at Chade and was surprised to see that he was barely following our conversation. He seemed to be looking into a distance and not seeing what was before his eyes. ‘Chade?’ I asked him worriedly. ‘Are you all right?’
He drew a sudden breath, as if I’d wakened him. ‘I think it is the dragon that is fascinating Thick. I was trying to get his attention, but his music is strong and all consuming. Neither the Prince nor I can sense the dragon with the Skill. Yet, when I reach after Thick with the Skill, I can sense something there. But it’s odd … it’s like seeing the shadow of a man, but not the man himself. I cannot tell anything about him, other than that he’s there. Dutiful says that from time to time his Wit catches a whiff of Icefyre, only to have him vanish like a scent when the wind changes.’
I stood still for a moment and sent my Wit-questing. After a time, I came back to them. ‘He’s there. And then he isn’t. I can’t tell if it’s something that he is doing deliberately, some sort of Wit-camouflage, or if, as Web suggested, he’s very close to death.’
I glanced at Dutiful, but his thoughts had followed a different track. I wondered if he had heard what Chade and I had said at all. ‘I’m going to try to Skill to Nettle tonight,’ he announced suddenly. ‘We need a real link with Buckkeep and she’s our only hope of one. I also think that if any one of us can distract Thick from the dragon, if that is what is fascinating him, then she can. Even if it isn’t the dragon, she may be our best chance of reaching him.’
I was stunned. I didn’t want him to try this. I did. ‘Do you think you can reach her?’
‘Perhaps. It would be a lot easier to do if I actually knew her.’ The emphasis he placed on those last words made it plain it was my fault that he didn’t. I think he had heard my reluctance in my question, and been stung by it. I swallowed that, and let him speak on. ‘I only brushed minds with her that one time, and that was through you. Reaching her on my own is going to be difficult.’
Anxiety gnawed at me. I knew I should not ask the question of him, but I did. ‘If you do, what will you tell her?’
He stared at me bleakly before replying, ‘The truth. I know it’s a novel idea, but I thought that at least one Farseer should try it.’
I knew he was trying to provoke me. The events of the day had been difficult for him, and my prince was behaving like a petulant fifteen-year-old, trying to find someone to put the blame on. I tried again to let it go past me. ‘The truth is a large thing. Which part of the truth do you plan to tell her?’ I asked, and tried to smile as I awaited his answer.
‘For now, only the parts that belong to me. That I am Prince Dutiful and I desperately need her to pass on tidings to my mother, and then convey to me her advice. I want my mother to know about Sydel and her parents. As much to be wary of them as to rescue Sydel, I’ll admit. And if she will listen to that message and accept it, then I will tell her my fears for Thick: that a dragon is stealing what little mind he has. Then I’ll ask her to distract him from it, if she can reach him.’ He sighed suddenly. ‘I suppose I shall be lucky if I get that far in a conversation with her.’ He gave me another doleful look.
I think at that instant I felt most keenly the loss of my Skill. I did not want Dutiful to speak to my daughter out of my hearing and awareness. I feared what he might accidentally reveal. He might influence how she thought of me before I had a chance to let her know me on her own. He answered my thought as if he had heard it.
‘You’ll have to trust me, won’t you?’
I took a breath. ‘I do trust you,’ I said, and tried to make that statement not a lie.
‘I’ll be with the lad,’ Chade told me, and then laughed aloud at the dismay on my face. ‘No, don’t say you trust me. I don’t think I could stand it.’
‘But I have to trust you,’ I pointed out, and Chade nodded. Then I asked, ‘What did you think of what went on today? Do you think that the Hetgurd folk will turn on us and attack if the dragon is unearthed alive and we attempt to take his head?’
‘Yes,’ Dutiful answered me. ‘Without doubt. I think that the absence of the Black Man’s approval has inflamed every superstitious fear that they have.’
‘I think you are right,’ Chade agreed. ‘I noticed that tonight, as we were retiring, they set up yet another offering to him at the outskirts of camp.’
I shook my head at Chade. ‘I know what you are thinking. Even if I could do it, I don’t think it would be wise. If the offering was taken now, would not they interpret it as him finally approving of them, because they had spoken out against the Prince’s quest? Too late for chicanery in that area, Chade.’
‘I suppose you are right,’ he said without apologies. ‘And if you were caught stealing the offering, it might rouse them to immediate action. No. Best to wait.’ He sighed and rubbed his arms vigorously. ‘I am so tired of this cold. I’m too old to be this chilled all the time.’
The Prince rolled his eyes silently.
I changed the subject. ‘Please be careful, both of you, when you reach after Thick. And Dutiful, be very wary contacting Nettle. I am sure I did not imagine what happened to Thick and I that day. Someone was using the Skill to turn us against each other. Whoever it is, he is still out there. He found Thick’s mind once. When you Skill to Thick, you may be betraying yourselves to him. And if he follows you, Dutiful, he may find Nettle when you reach for her tonight. Or, you may attract the dragon Tintaglia to yourself.’ I suddenly felt a coward because I could no longer hope to protect either of them. ‘Be careful,’ I said again.
‘I will,’ Dutiful replied irritably, and I was sure he was not giving my warning the weight it deserved. I looked at Chade.
‘Have you ever known me to be anything but careful?’ my old mentor asked me.
Yes, I have, I nearly said. When you went after the Skill, you went after it with abandon. I fear you will do so again and risk all I hold dear in the process. But I held my tongue and contented myself with a nod to his question. ‘It feels strange to know you have so much to do tonight and there is no way I can help you accomplish it. I feel useless. If you have nothing for me here, then I’ll be seeking my bed. I’m exhausted.’ I rolled my shoulders. ‘I should have been practising with a shovel those last months in Buckkeep instead of a sword.’
The Prince gave me a grudging chuckle. Chade asked gravely, ‘Are you going to see the Fool tonight?’